“Be Kind to Yourself”

Written by: Dinelsa Morales, Ph. D., LMSW

Written for: Hispanic Family Counseling Inc. Newsletter April 2024 Edition

A conversation with a child can change your life. And that's what happened to me this week. While talking to this child who had experienced a moment of intense anger over something he understood was not fair - and he was right! At the end of the situation, the adults around him apologized for the misunderstanding, and as I approached him, I said, "You know, you were right, but I think your reaction was very painful for you." To which the child replied, "I need to learn to be a little kinder to myself." Wow! What an amazing reflection this little one had developed about what had happened.

In this profound truth, we should all reflect on how much impact experiences and relationships we live daily have on us. How well do we know how to process events and give a response? Or like this developing little one, who still doesn't have skills to handle frustration, have we too emotionally hurt ourselves over something that is not in our control? Of course, it happens to all of us. These words from this child urge us to be more aware of the reality we live in. Because sometimes experiences are so overwhelming that we get stuck in the hysteria of the moment without seeking an appropriate response.

"Be kind to yourself" involves awakening your awareness to what is your responsibility and what you can control and what you cannot. "Being kind to yourself" involves breathing, analyzing, and allowing yourself to go through the process. In the process, there is sadness, joy, fear, anger. All are valid, but they should drive us towards a solution, not towards stagnation, because in stagnation, you provoke yourself unnecessary pain. So, let's learn to be kinder to ourselves every day so that this little child learns from us that it is possible